My visual argument. Enjoy. Please give me your comments.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
I'll Stay True to My Aims
I sit quietly with my right leg crossed over my left, forgetting about my campaign against varicose veins. There has been a pause in the conversation, and it is rather uncomfortable. "There you go again! Why can't you enjoy simple conversation? You were discussing school, can't you discuss the ordinary things, like uniforms, lunch meals, bad teachers, good teachers, anything other than religion," I thought exasperatedly to myself.
You see I was hanging out with a friend, it was very early in our friendship so it was slightly awkward. We were watching The Hills. I was a little bored, I don't really find pleasure in watching young celebrities wasting their lives. I tried to make conversation, but wasn't really sure what she would want to talk about, so I chose school. There had to be something to say about school. Everyone has an opinion on that subject, be it a good one or a bad one.
We discussed which classes we were taking, and she mentioned the fact that she was taking a religion class. I started asking questions, such as which religions she was studying at the moment. "Christianity," she replied. "We are actually talking about reformed thought and non-reformed thought." I asked what her opinions were on the subject, and she told me she hadn't given much thought to it until this class so she wasn't sure. Well, I was sure. I always have been, so of course I started telling her my opinion, asking her if she agreed, trying to engage her in what I thought was a incredibly interesting discussion. She was rather hesitant, and I noticed she grew ever more uncomfortable, so I eased out of the conversation and started watching L. C. break up with yet another unfortunate (or could he be fortunate?) guy on the tv.
When I got home thoughts came rushing into my head, "Why do you have to be so weird?! What normal fifteen year old wants to talk about predestination? Well, good job, she probably won't ever want to hang out with you again."All my life I have found no greater pleasure than in the discussion different ideas about, religion, literature, science, history, politics, etc. It all fascinates me so very much, don't get me wrong I like pop culture and can sit for hours talking about a new tv show, movie, music, clothes or some fad, but often times I would rather sit and talk about what some call the more serious subjects of life. I've noticed though that many of the people I know my age, tend to enjoy pop culture more, and it has left me feeling wanting. I have often felt uncomfortable because I cannot be included in a discussion about a horror movie because I haven't watched it because I felt it a waste of time and watched a documentary instead. I am biding my time, waiting to have a boyfriend, because I know that if I have one now he will be a distraction. But when girls start talking about the loves of their lives, I just get to sit quietly, often wishing I had someone to hold my hand like they do.
As my friendship with the girl mentioned above grew, I realized that I wasn't as strange as I thought. She had actually enjoyed our conversation, she just didn't know how to respond. No one really talks about things like that outside of school. I realized that I wasn't weird for wanting to talk about the classics, Mormons, economics. I just feared being labeled as strange. So many of us do. We worry incessantly about how people are going to respond to our idiosyncrasies. If we can become comfortable with ourselves enough to share it with those around us, we may wind up delightfully surprised to find that there are so many like us. Oh, by the way, this girl is now my best friend, and we talk about boys, clothes, makeup, war, Catholicism, and same-sex marriage, to mention a few. Interesting huh?
Twilight
I wrote this in response to a friend asking for opinions of Twilight.
I have no problems with Christians reading books that delve into the realm of the fantastical or supernatural. I read the Harry Potter books, the Eragon books, the Middle Earth books, and the Narnia books. I have read parts of the Twilight books, but couldn't stand the obsessive behavior of Bella so I put it down.
Obsession and blood, two key elements of Twilight that I have a problem with.
Problem #1: The Role of Blood.
I see your point in the comparison of elves and vampires, (She pointed out the similarities of agility, beauty, human traits, feline traits, and magical capabilities) but you did not mention the greatest difference between the two races: elves do not have a desire for human blood (in fact in the Inheritance Cycle, elves do not even eat animal flesh) vampires on the other hand(though they may be "vegetarians" as Edward Cullen is in Twilight) still have a longing for and an urge to taste blood.
Now I am a girl who likes weapons of all kinds and enjoys movies containing battles, martial arts, swordplay, murder, or just plain old fist fighting, all of which typically contain varying amounts of blood. However I do not enjoy or watch horror films, where it often seems the whole premise is to focus on a lunatic's obsession with someone and then to release this obsession in a torrent of blood. I see a link here with Edward's innate desire to sink his teeth into Bella's skin.
Problem #2: Bella's Obsession with Edward or Edward's Seemingly Perfection.
Bella starts out infatuated. We have all been infatuated at least once and know there is no harm, but Bella becomes so entangled with Edward that she starts risking her safety. Edward has become a god for her and in turn he has become such to many girls and women. So many have said that Twilight is their escape. I like to escape into books as well, I try to do it as often as possible, but so many people are allowing their "escape" to enter their lives. I realized this happening when I overheard a young woman comparing her husband to Edward, wishing that her husband were more like him, and wishing she could find a real man like that. Edward is first of all a fictional character and even then he is not a man! This obsession with a figment of someone else's imagination can not be good for us, can it?
"Maybe elves, at least those of the Tolkien variety, embody our yearning after purer, more angelic duplicates of ourselves while vampires are their darker shadow," you said. This basically sums it up I think. In our imagination we create better pictures of ourselves and when we tire of that we create darker pictures of ourselves. We find a strange beauty in this darkness. I believe this beauty comes from our knowledge that there is redemption from darkness. Redemption is the most beautiful thing I know of and it subconsciously enters our thoughts when we see something sad or dark. Some people mistake the beauty of redemption they see in darkness as being the darkness itself. That is where the danger lies, not in our imagination of dark things, but in our saying that this darkness is beautiful even if it can't be redeemed. After all Edward himself believes he is damned for eternity, but Bella still thinks it is all beautiful.
I have no problems with Christians reading books that delve into the realm of the fantastical or supernatural. I read the Harry Potter books, the Eragon books, the Middle Earth books, and the Narnia books. I have read parts of the Twilight books, but couldn't stand the obsessive behavior of Bella so I put it down.
Obsession and blood, two key elements of Twilight that I have a problem with.
Problem #1: The Role of Blood.
I see your point in the comparison of elves and vampires, (She pointed out the similarities of agility, beauty, human traits, feline traits, and magical capabilities) but you did not mention the greatest difference between the two races: elves do not have a desire for human blood (in fact in the Inheritance Cycle, elves do not even eat animal flesh) vampires on the other hand(though they may be "vegetarians" as Edward Cullen is in Twilight) still have a longing for and an urge to taste blood.
Now I am a girl who likes weapons of all kinds and enjoys movies containing battles, martial arts, swordplay, murder, or just plain old fist fighting, all of which typically contain varying amounts of blood. However I do not enjoy or watch horror films, where it often seems the whole premise is to focus on a lunatic's obsession with someone and then to release this obsession in a torrent of blood. I see a link here with Edward's innate desire to sink his teeth into Bella's skin.
Problem #2: Bella's Obsession with Edward or Edward's Seemingly Perfection.
Bella starts out infatuated. We have all been infatuated at least once and know there is no harm, but Bella becomes so entangled with Edward that she starts risking her safety. Edward has become a god for her and in turn he has become such to many girls and women. So many have said that Twilight is their escape. I like to escape into books as well, I try to do it as often as possible, but so many people are allowing their "escape" to enter their lives. I realized this happening when I overheard a young woman comparing her husband to Edward, wishing that her husband were more like him, and wishing she could find a real man like that. Edward is first of all a fictional character and even then he is not a man! This obsession with a figment of someone else's imagination can not be good for us, can it?
"Maybe elves, at least those of the Tolkien variety, embody our yearning after purer, more angelic duplicates of ourselves while vampires are their darker shadow," you said. This basically sums it up I think. In our imagination we create better pictures of ourselves and when we tire of that we create darker pictures of ourselves. We find a strange beauty in this darkness. I believe this beauty comes from our knowledge that there is redemption from darkness. Redemption is the most beautiful thing I know of and it subconsciously enters our thoughts when we see something sad or dark. Some people mistake the beauty of redemption they see in darkness as being the darkness itself. That is where the danger lies, not in our imagination of dark things, but in our saying that this darkness is beautiful even if it can't be redeemed. After all Edward himself believes he is damned for eternity, but Bella still thinks it is all beautiful.
Friday, November 21, 2008
I was just alerted by the Cole NeSmith blog to some alarming news. China Daily has just reported that Coldplay may be breaking up at the end of 2009. Chris Martin is quoted as saying, "I'm 31 now and I don't think that bands should keep going past 33." I couldn't disagree more (shocking I know, because I hold Chris Martin in very high regard). If you have talent there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't continue on, and vice versa. *Rolling Stones take heed.* If your lyrics are widely accepted carry on my wayward son (anyone?). On the flipside this could be a highly commendable thing. Perhaps his real reason isn't just the fact that he is 33 (too old to rock seems to be what this is code for) pehaps he wants to focus on the greater things of life. Spending time with Gywneth, Apple, and Moses. If this is the case hurrah for him. Still I'm very sad.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Lovely, lovely words
Here's a lot of words... Wonderful aren't they?!
ameliorate - to make or become better, more bearable, or more satisfactory; to improve.
anodyne - 1. a medicine that relieves or allays pain. 2. anything that relieves distress or pain. 3. relieving pain. 4. soothing to the mind or feelings.
equanimity - mental or emotional stability or composure, esp. under tension or strain; calmness; equilibrium.
frisson - 1. a sudden, passing sensation of excitement; a shudder of emotion; thrill. 2. an almost pleasurable sensation of fright.
infinitesimally - 1. indefinitely or exceedingly small; minute. 2. immeasurably small; less than an assignable quantity. 3. of, pertaining to, or involving infinitesimals. 4. an infinitesimal quantity. 5. Mathematics. a variable having zero as a limit.
insensate - 1. not endowed with sensation; inanimate. 2. without human feeling or sensitivity; cold; cruel; brutal. 3. without sense, understanding, or judgement; foolish.
ken - 1. knowledge, understanding, or cognizance; mental perception: an idea beyond one's ken. 2. range of sight or vision.–verb (used with object) 3. Chiefly Scot. a. to know, have knowledge of or about, or be acquainted with (a person or thing). b. to understand or perceive (an idea or situation). 4. Scots Law. to acknowledge as heir; recognize by a judicial act. 5. Archaic. to see; descry; recognize. 6. British Dialect Archaic. a. to declare, acknowledge, or confess (something). b. to teach, direct, or guide (someone). 7. British Dialect. a. to have knowledge of something. b. to understand.
mitigated - 1. to lessen in force or intensity, as wrath, grief, harshness, or pain; moderate. 2. to make less severe. 3. to make (a person, one's state of mind, disposition, etc.) milder or more gentle; mollify; appease. 4.to become milder; lessen in severity.
obeisance - 1. a movement of the body expressing deep respect or deferential courtesy, as before a superior; a bow, curtsy, or other similar gesture. 2. deference or homage.
objurgation - to reproach or denounce vehemently; upbraid harshly; berate sharply.
ochre - 1. Any of several earthy mineral oxides of iron occurring in yellow, brown, or red and used as pigments. 2. A moderate orange yellow, from moderate or deep orange to moderate or strong yellow.
opaque - 1. not transparent or translucent; impenetrable to light; not allowing light to pass through. 2. not transmitting radiation, sound, heat, etc. 3. not shining or bright; dark; dull. 4. hard to understand; not clear or lucid; obscure. 5. dull, stupid, or unintelligent. 6. something that is opaque. 7. Photography. a coloring matter, usually black or red, used to render part of a negative opaque. 8. Photography. to cover up blemishes on (a negative), esp. for making a printing plate. 9. to cause to become opaque.
parochial - 1. of or pertaining to a parish or parishes. 2. of or pertaining to parochial schools or the education they provide. 3. very limited or narrow in scope or outlook; provincial.
pashmina - a fine woolen cloth with a soft plush texture similar to cashmere.
sidereal - 1. Measured or determined by means of the apparent daily motion of the stars. 2. of, relating to, or concerned with the stars or constellations; stellar.
sonorous - 1. giving out or capable of giving out a sound, esp. a deep, resonant sound, as a thing or place. 2. loud, deep, or resonant, as a sound. 3. rich and full in sound, as language or verse. 4. high-flown; grandiloquent.
translunar - of or pertaining to the region of space extending beyond the moon's orbit.
urbane - 1. having the polish and suavity regarded as characteristic of sophisticated social life in major cities. 2. reflecting elegance, sophistication, etc., esp. in expression
ameliorate - to make or become better, more bearable, or more satisfactory; to improve.
anodyne - 1. a medicine that relieves or allays pain. 2. anything that relieves distress or pain. 3. relieving pain. 4. soothing to the mind or feelings.
asperity - 1. harshness or sharpness of tone, temper, or manner; severity; acrimony. 2. hardship; difficulty; rigor. 3. roughness of surface; unevenness. 4. something rough or harsh.
concomitant - 1. existing or occurring with something else, often in a lesser way; accompanying; concurrent. 2. a concomitant quality, circumstance, or thing.
coracle - A small rounded boat made of waterproof material stretched over a wicker or wooden frame.
equanimity - mental or emotional stability or composure, esp. under tension or strain; calmness; equilibrium.
frisson - 1. a sudden, passing sensation of excitement; a shudder of emotion; thrill. 2. an almost pleasurable sensation of fright.
infinitesimally - 1. indefinitely or exceedingly small; minute. 2. immeasurably small; less than an assignable quantity. 3. of, pertaining to, or involving infinitesimals. 4. an infinitesimal quantity. 5. Mathematics. a variable having zero as a limit.
insensate - 1. not endowed with sensation; inanimate. 2. without human feeling or sensitivity; cold; cruel; brutal. 3. without sense, understanding, or judgement; foolish.
ken - 1. knowledge, understanding, or cognizance; mental perception: an idea beyond one's ken. 2. range of sight or vision.–verb (used with object) 3. Chiefly Scot. a. to know, have knowledge of or about, or be acquainted with (a person or thing). b. to understand or perceive (an idea or situation). 4. Scots Law. to acknowledge as heir; recognize by a judicial act. 5. Archaic. to see; descry; recognize. 6. British Dialect Archaic. a. to declare, acknowledge, or confess (something). b. to teach, direct, or guide (someone). 7. British Dialect. a. to have knowledge of something. b. to understand.
mitigated - 1. to lessen in force or intensity, as wrath, grief, harshness, or pain; moderate. 2. to make less severe. 3. to make (a person, one's state of mind, disposition, etc.) milder or more gentle; mollify; appease. 4.to become milder; lessen in severity.
obeisance - 1. a movement of the body expressing deep respect or deferential courtesy, as before a superior; a bow, curtsy, or other similar gesture. 2. deference or homage.
objurgation - to reproach or denounce vehemently; upbraid harshly; berate sharply.
ochre - 1. Any of several earthy mineral oxides of iron occurring in yellow, brown, or red and used as pigments. 2. A moderate orange yellow, from moderate or deep orange to moderate or strong yellow.
opaque - 1. not transparent or translucent; impenetrable to light; not allowing light to pass through. 2. not transmitting radiation, sound, heat, etc. 3. not shining or bright; dark; dull. 4. hard to understand; not clear or lucid; obscure. 5. dull, stupid, or unintelligent. 6. something that is opaque. 7. Photography. a coloring matter, usually black or red, used to render part of a negative opaque. 8. Photography. to cover up blemishes on (a negative), esp. for making a printing plate. 9. to cause to become opaque.
parochial - 1. of or pertaining to a parish or parishes. 2. of or pertaining to parochial schools or the education they provide. 3. very limited or narrow in scope or outlook; provincial.
pashmina - a fine woolen cloth with a soft plush texture similar to cashmere.
perfidy - 1. deliberate breach of faith or trust; faithlessness; treachery. 2. an act or instance of faithlessness or treachery.
pilose - covered with fine, soft hair.
redolent - 1. having a pleasant odor; fragrant. 2. odorous or smelling (usually fol. by of). 3.
suggestive; reminiscent (usually fol. by of).
suggestive; reminiscent (usually fol. by of).
sidereal - 1. Measured or determined by means of the apparent daily motion of the stars. 2. of, relating to, or concerned with the stars or constellations; stellar.
sonorous - 1. giving out or capable of giving out a sound, esp. a deep, resonant sound, as a thing or place. 2. loud, deep, or resonant, as a sound. 3. rich and full in sound, as language or verse. 4. high-flown; grandiloquent.
snollygoster - a clever, unscrupulous person. (My personal favorite, haha)
translunar - of or pertaining to the region of space extending beyond the moon's orbit.
urbane - 1. having the polish and suavity regarded as characteristic of sophisticated social life in major cities. 2. reflecting elegance, sophistication, etc., esp. in expression
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
My heart is in a land I have never been, with people I have never met, hurting for the stories that I will never hear, the stories that will never be.
Please watch:
Tears of the Sun
The Invisible Children
Hotel Rwanda
Please visit:
http://www.savedarfur.org/content?splash=yes
http://www.invisiblechildren.com/home.php
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." (Edmund Burke)
Please watch:
Tears of the Sun
The Invisible Children
Hotel Rwanda
Please visit:
http://www.savedarfur.org/content?splash=yes
http://www.invisiblechildren.com/home.php
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." (Edmund Burke)
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Reading List
(will be continuously updated)
Carr-Gregg, Michael. "For kids, net result is gross." Herald Sun. 8 Nov. 2007. 24 Oct. 2008. http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22719787-5000117,00.html
"Child and Adolescent Health."The National Institute of Health. 3 Apr. 2008. 24 Oct. 2008. http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/child-and-adolescent-mental-health/index.shtml
Geller, Barbara. Personal Interview. Jan. 2004 29 Oct. 2008. http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=By_Illness&template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=13107.
Harder, Arlene F. "The Developmental Stages of Erik Erikson." TheLearningPlace.com. 2002. 29 Oct. 2008. http://www.learningplaceonline.com/stages/organize/Erikson.htm.
Harlow, Harry F. "Nature of Love." American Psychologist 13 (1958): 673-685.
Kohlberg, Lawrence. "The Development of Children's Orientation Toward a Moral Order." Human Development 51 (2008): 8-20.
Schoenstadt, Arthur. "What is Autism?" Medtv. 30 June 2008. 29 Oct. 2008. http://autism.emedtv.com/autism/autism.html.
Van Wagner, Kendra. "An Overview of the Attachment Theory." About.com: Psychology. 26 Oct. 2008. http://psychology.about.com/od/loveandattraction/a/attachment01.htm.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
once again
I screwed everything up, and for that I am terribly sorry. I thank you for giving me a chance to prove myself. My crimes are heinous and my soul feels like rock. Why is it I can never change things on my own? I make small things turn into terribly large things that I can't deal with. My struggles are brought to light, and strict reinforcements assure you and I that I won't screw up again. Then and only then do I ever learn. I have such high aspirations, but such low motivation, such low discipline. You frighten me with your expectations, for you know I have high aspirations and you have them for me, only you expect discipline whereas I tend to shirk it off. I am like a little child, the one who is told not to touch the electric stove or the light bulb. "You'll hurt yourself," they say and I know that I'll hurt myself. Why shouldn't I trust this person when they have given me no reason not to? And yet, I continue to extend my arm, stretch my hand, all quite cleverly without sound, and suddenly I am burned! "Ouch!" I proclaim and they look at me with disappointment and concern so fierce they burns your insides. "Didn't we tell you not to touch it?" In actuality I am worse than the little child, because in the child's case it has learned its lesson don't touch it ever again. I, on the other hand, continue to touch it, always knowing what will happen, always told what will happen, and yet always surprised by what does happen, saddened and ashamed by their reactions, and strangely compelled to do it once again. I am so for my stupidity and immaturity, thank you for this one last chance.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
The Basics
1. My favorite colors are burnt orange, torquoise, teal, green, and yellow.
2. My favorite food is Mexican food, I love spicy food so much!!
3. I love the sound of my Mimi's (grandmother) bike. It's old and rattles beautifully. I love to ride it especially when it is a breazy overcast day.
4. I talk to myself out loud. A lot.
5. I love antiques and everything old. "Antiques are tangible stories."
"I love old things. They make me feel sad." "What's good about sad?" "It's happy for deep people."
6. My favorite smells are fresh picked tomatoes and pipe tobacco.
My little sister grows tomatoes and I just love the clean, earthy smell of them right after being picked.
There is a little old man who lives in my neighborhood. His wife doesn't allow him to smoke his pipe inside, so he stands in his driveway, puffing away. I love the smell emitted from his pipe.
7. Everything I do is a choice made by myself. It was not pre-ordained, it was of my own free will.
8. Noho feels like home. But so does Gallway, Lynchburg, Orlando, and Estes Park.
9. Most of the time the feelings I have make sense only to myself.
10. I tend to be skeptical and pessimistic. But also tend to be pretty happy anyway.
11. I love music of all kinds. My favorites are Coldplay, Bob Dylan, The Arcade Fire, Imogen Heap, Jon Foreman, Relient K, Snow Patrol, A Fine Frenzy, Vicky Beeching, and Norah Jones.
12. I love bead jewelry. I am not a fan of diamonds and other such gems.
13. My favorite stationary past times are reading and listening to music.
14. My favorite athletic past times are riding bikes, fencing, and rock climbing.
15. I am open minded to the extent that I will listen to what you have to say, I will respect your opinions, but do not think you will sway me with just words. I am stubborn.
16. I like to people watch. To sit and make a story out of their movements and appearances.
17. Abnormal and developmental psychology fascinates me.
18. Sometimes I feel I'm too old for my body.
19. There is always a meaning behind everything said, and everything written, and everything sung. No word is produced for no reason at all.
20. I think and dream too much. I'm rather slow at actually getting started.
I will add more to this list as time goes on. More thoughts and more facts about me.
2. My favorite food is Mexican food, I love spicy food so much!!
3. I love the sound of my Mimi's (grandmother) bike. It's old and rattles beautifully. I love to ride it especially when it is a breazy overcast day.
4. I talk to myself out loud. A lot.
5. I love antiques and everything old. "Antiques are tangible stories."
"I love old things. They make me feel sad." "What's good about sad?" "It's happy for deep people."
6. My favorite smells are fresh picked tomatoes and pipe tobacco.
My little sister grows tomatoes and I just love the clean, earthy smell of them right after being picked.
There is a little old man who lives in my neighborhood. His wife doesn't allow him to smoke his pipe inside, so he stands in his driveway, puffing away. I love the smell emitted from his pipe.
7. Everything I do is a choice made by myself. It was not pre-ordained, it was of my own free will.
8. Noho feels like home. But so does Gallway, Lynchburg, Orlando, and Estes Park.
9. Most of the time the feelings I have make sense only to myself.
10. I tend to be skeptical and pessimistic. But also tend to be pretty happy anyway.
11. I love music of all kinds. My favorites are Coldplay, Bob Dylan, The Arcade Fire, Imogen Heap, Jon Foreman, Relient K, Snow Patrol, A Fine Frenzy, Vicky Beeching, and Norah Jones.
12. I love bead jewelry. I am not a fan of diamonds and other such gems.
13. My favorite stationary past times are reading and listening to music.
14. My favorite athletic past times are riding bikes, fencing, and rock climbing.
15. I am open minded to the extent that I will listen to what you have to say, I will respect your opinions, but do not think you will sway me with just words. I am stubborn.
16. I like to people watch. To sit and make a story out of their movements and appearances.
17. Abnormal and developmental psychology fascinates me.
18. Sometimes I feel I'm too old for my body.
19. There is always a meaning behind everything said, and everything written, and everything sung. No word is produced for no reason at all.
20. I think and dream too much. I'm rather slow at actually getting started.
I will add more to this list as time goes on. More thoughts and more facts about me.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
the little room
There will be a house with no walls other than the four enclosing our domain. Within this room, this solitary room, there would be a mattress for sleeping on, a stove for cooking on, and chair for reading in, and a tub for bathing in. It will be cramped, it has to be cramped. I will be allowed one wall to place pictures, articles, ribbons, and the like upon. You will also have a wall. I will not interfere with how you decorate your wall as long as you do not voice any criticizing opinion of my wall. We shall each choose a color for our wall. I shall choose red, it is my favorite. I'm sorry you do not like it. I know you will choose blue, you wear that color often. I detest the color blue. These walls are us, well before we got together that is. The third wall, the one facing the wall with the single door, will be purple. It is our door together. We can carry parts of our individual walls over to it. Things we dearly seek to share with each other. Perhaps you will not like everything I like, for I am sure I will not like everything you like. The wall with no door will have no color, no items on it. It is only an exit. We will share everything, the bed, the stove, the chair, the tub, and that one wall. Perhaps one day you will get bored of sharing everything, perhaps I will. There is always the possibility that you will tire of seeing the things of mine I offer to you, but you do not want. There is a possibility I shall tire as well. If we ever decide we no longer want to share we will have our own walls to turn to. Perhaps we will get lonely there, wanting to share, but still not wanting everything the other person has to offer. Then we could turn to the fourth wall, the exit. You may turn, you are a free person after all. I may turn, I am just as free as you. But there is nothing on that wall, just an exit. What if we miss each other outside this cramped little room? What if we realize purple really is our favorite color? We just didn't realize it before. Because we know not what is outside the fourth wall, we know not whether or not the door will lock itself to us after we exit.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The Beautiful Bloody Nose
Jumpin' Puddles Smiling Spinning 'round and 'round Holding hands The whole world a blur But you are standing Soaked Completely drenched No rubber boots Running in Want to erupt from a shell Wind in and outdoor smell of your hair I hit as fast as I could With my nose Hopping into puddles Completely drenched Soaked With no boots on And I get nosebleed But I always get up And I get nosebleed But I always get up (Loose English Translation of Icelandic Band Sigur Ros' song Hoppipolla)
Oh to be young again.... Sounds rather silly for a sixteen year old to say that, but think about it. In our culture we are bombarded with the troubles of this world, be it terrorism, false representation, random murder, drugs, sex, robbery, tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, genocide, disease, starvation, tsunamis, the list goes on and on. We may not personally experience some of these horrors, but we hear about them.
Sometimes I wish I could be a small child again, the small child that ran around the back yard pretending I was Tarzan (I wanted to be Tarzan because he could fly through the trees). I wish I still jumped around in puddles with no rubber boots. I wish I could find joy and excitement in just the way everything smells on a cold day outside. I wish I could get right back up after getting hurt. As we've grown older we have stopped appreciating small things. Everything has to be big and fancy, full of lights! We find it hard to look at a rain puddle and think what a perfect way to get wet, instead we think, "Where is the easiest way to get around this puddle, so I don't ruin my shoes." As we've grown older we nurse our hurts, we hold onto our grudges. We stopped remembering that while it hurts for the moment, getting up and ridding ourselves of the pain means we get to play more! You can't jump in puddles sitting down crying over your bloody nose. Wipe it off on your sleeve, the water will wash it away!
Monday, September 15, 2008
The Act of Worship
Worship is often portrayed as being the act of singing praise songs to our Lord. Does music have to build an environment for worship? Can we worship without music? If music were the only way to worship, how fickle it could be! Music has the power to make us "feel". The words and melody invoke pathos within us causing our emotions to react. By creating emotions of awe, praise, and adoration we feel it necessary to pour out from within us this excitement. Because of the power music has over our emotions, and the power emotions have over our actions, I am worried too many people are getting the wrong idea about worship.
Pure worship, would mean that praising God through music is just a symbol of the relationship and faith we have in Him. Singing praise songs to God is just an action. What other actions in our daily life can be equivalent to music?
When a friend invites us to go get wasted instead of saying,"Sure, what time is the party?" could we worship God by saying, "No thanks. A beautiful power, higher than any on this earth, including alcohol and drugs, made my body. I am thankful for this intricate body He made. I will not defile His creation by drinking or taking drugs. Being a bumbling fool does not glorify my Creator. I will present myself a sane, clear minded, beautiful being, not governed by emotion, alcohol, drugs, or a fellow man. I will be governed only by the Lord, for my Creator is the only worthy of praise. He is the only one that governs with love. I am not forced by Him to do anything. Emotion, alcohol, drugs, and men govern only with force. Does that deserve my praise?
He saved and renewed my soul! He created the heavens and earth, He placed pictures of His love around us everywhere! He daily protects me and provides for me! I praise Him for His unconditional love! I have seen how great He is through His action of perfect love, through His death, and I can declare how great He is, not only through song, but by being governed only by Him! By choosing to keep my mind and clean and pure. With every step I take, every thought made my mind, every word said. So thanks anyway, but I won't being getting wasted with you."
Perhaps this is a little too intense for daily conversation, but if I have this knowledge in me, I can worship Him in everything I do. I do not need music to get me in a place of worship, I will use music to express the place of worship within my soul. Because I believe you have to see how great your God is, before you can say how great your God is. "How great is our God?" You tell me, because a song isn't going to tell you.
Pure worship, would mean that praising God through music is just a symbol of the relationship and faith we have in Him. Singing praise songs to God is just an action. What other actions in our daily life can be equivalent to music?
When a friend invites us to go get wasted instead of saying,"Sure, what time is the party?" could we worship God by saying, "No thanks. A beautiful power, higher than any on this earth, including alcohol and drugs, made my body. I am thankful for this intricate body He made. I will not defile His creation by drinking or taking drugs. Being a bumbling fool does not glorify my Creator. I will present myself a sane, clear minded, beautiful being, not governed by emotion, alcohol, drugs, or a fellow man. I will be governed only by the Lord, for my Creator is the only worthy of praise. He is the only one that governs with love. I am not forced by Him to do anything. Emotion, alcohol, drugs, and men govern only with force. Does that deserve my praise?
He saved and renewed my soul! He created the heavens and earth, He placed pictures of His love around us everywhere! He daily protects me and provides for me! I praise Him for His unconditional love! I have seen how great He is through His action of perfect love, through His death, and I can declare how great He is, not only through song, but by being governed only by Him! By choosing to keep my mind and clean and pure. With every step I take, every thought made my mind, every word said. So thanks anyway, but I won't being getting wasted with you."
Perhaps this is a little too intense for daily conversation, but if I have this knowledge in me, I can worship Him in everything I do. I do not need music to get me in a place of worship, I will use music to express the place of worship within my soul. Because I believe you have to see how great your God is, before you can say how great your God is. "How great is our God?" You tell me, because a song isn't going to tell you.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Brisinger
Some of you may not know about the Inheritance Cycle. Some of you may have heard of it, but totally despise it. Some of you may be like me, and are absolutely ecstatic about the release of Brisinger the third book in the four-part series written by Christopher Paolini. I only have to wait 10 more days till I can read it. I hope it will hold up to my expectations. I was greatly impressed by the first two, Eragon, and Eldest. What makes these books so exciting for me is not the fact that they are fantastical and a pleasant diversion from my daily life, but that they are written by a young man. Christopher started writing these books when he was only 15 a year younger than I am. Thinking about his age makes me wonder what could I possibly do? I am only a year older than him, perhaps I should start writing something on a larger scale than the essays, short stories, and poems I write. Maybe instead of just dreaming up stories, I can put them to paper. I must admit to you, I am somewhat frightened of that idea. Can I do it?
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
the radical
When we first met you gave me something
I held it in my hand; it was all wet and red
And it moved and I swear
It was a piece of your heart, a piece of your heart
And we spent so much time singing
Silly songs, like this one
But whoever we met you did the same
You gave a piece of your heart, a piece of your heart
One day I came to your house
I came in and I saw you in your kitchen
Well you were baking a cake and you put twelve numbers on its face
And you gave me a slice; oh man was it sweet
And we spent so much time singing
Silly songs; like this one
But whoever we met you did the same
You gave a piece of your time, a piece of your time
And when you sit and speak it's like
A windstorm came and blew away your brain
In a whirlwind of paper and ink
And so many are blessed to have the knowledge you possess
And we spent so much time singing
Silly songs, like this one
But whoever we met you did the same
You gave a piece of your mind, a piece of your mind
Now you're dead and gone
But your memory remains for those you touched
And those you saved, for those you talked to
And those you claimed, your precious family, your precious family
And you'll spend so much time singing
Pretty songs, better than this one
And whoever I meet, I'll try to do the same
I'll give them my life, I'll give them my life
Monday, August 25, 2008
Why I Chose My Name
In Oxford, England, during the 1930s and 1940s, an unofficial club was started. I say it was unofficial because in the words of W. H. Lewis, "Properly speaking, the Inklings, was neither a club nor a literary society, though it partook of the nature of both. There were no rules, officers, agendas, or formal elections.” The Inklings were a group of men that met in C. S. Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien's rooms at Oxford University. These men were devoted to God, literature, learning, and imagination.
In this little group, the men were perfectly themselves. It was a place of confidence and honesty. They were each others critics; many of them being authors. Many unfinished manuscripts were read and some were mocked, others were praised. No matter what the response though there was a comfortable air. Here one could open his soul and no one would judge him for it.
This was also a place of discussion. Everyman has his own opinion and here they could air them. There were often differences, but they all listened and all were given the opportunity to talk. "It is an Inkling's duty to be bored willingly. It is his privilege to be a borer on occasion... But Lord save you all! I don't find myself in any need of practicing forbearance towards any of you - save on the rarest occasions when I myself am tired and exhausted...I want noise often enough. I know no more pleasant sound than arriving at the B. and B. and hearing a roar, and knowing that one can plunge in," wrote J. R. R. Tolkien in a letter.
All were lovers of knowledge. There is a great appeal in knowledge. A sense of self-sufficiency and satisfaction. With knowledge you do not need to rely upon what the media says. C. S. Lewis put it quite simplistically, "The scholar has lived in many times and is therefore to some degree immune from the great cataract of nonsense that pours from the press of his own age."
I named my blog Inkling Society because it resembles what I think our relationships should look like. We should be so open with our brothers and sisters in Christ that we can share our deepest secrets and dreams, we can have agreements and disagreements. We can think for ourselves and learn from the past. We can love to learn and learn to love.
In this little group, the men were perfectly themselves. It was a place of confidence and honesty. They were each others critics; many of them being authors. Many unfinished manuscripts were read and some were mocked, others were praised. No matter what the response though there was a comfortable air. Here one could open his soul and no one would judge him for it.
This was also a place of discussion. Everyman has his own opinion and here they could air them. There were often differences, but they all listened and all were given the opportunity to talk. "It is an Inkling's duty to be bored willingly. It is his privilege to be a borer on occasion... But Lord save you all! I don't find myself in any need of practicing forbearance towards any of you - save on the rarest occasions when I myself am tired and exhausted...I want noise often enough. I know no more pleasant sound than arriving at the B. and B. and hearing a roar, and knowing that one can plunge in," wrote J. R. R. Tolkien in a letter.
All were lovers of knowledge. There is a great appeal in knowledge. A sense of self-sufficiency and satisfaction. With knowledge you do not need to rely upon what the media says. C. S. Lewis put it quite simplistically, "The scholar has lived in many times and is therefore to some degree immune from the great cataract of nonsense that pours from the press of his own age."
I named my blog Inkling Society because it resembles what I think our relationships should look like. We should be so open with our brothers and sisters in Christ that we can share our deepest secrets and dreams, we can have agreements and disagreements. We can think for ourselves and learn from the past. We can love to learn and learn to love.
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